Mr. Don
“Opposites attract” is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? “In a world that is full of strangers” as a line in a famous song of the 1980’s goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?
Is attraction a matter of chemistry?
Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.
Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men’s shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women’s genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.
Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”
So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
So should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction.
Remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
That's it for now.
Next time we will look at finding the elusive key to happieness!
Until then,
Take care and be safe!
Mr. Don
PS. If stress is keeping you from being the relaxed energetic person that you used to be, check out our Functional Stress Management FREE mini-ecourse. Learn how to identify the type of stress you may be suffering from, what are the signs of stress in loved ones, how stress attacks you physically and many other useful suggestions and tips that will help you and your loved ones avoid the physical and psychological consequences of stress!
Functional Self Confidence
Tuesday
The Road to Intuition
by Mr. Don
Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?
When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.
Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.
Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."
On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.
They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive, it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.
Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state stay as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.
With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:
1. Hypnosis
Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth like they show in the movies. Hypnosis is a quick way to enter into a very relaxed state of mind. Perform self-hypnosis or you can check out hypnotic programs on cd or in mp3 format that can strengthen your intuition.
2. Meditation
Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.
3. Think positive!
A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.
4. Just let go.
What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.
5. Never expect.
After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" will fall in to your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.
6. Believe in your first impressions.
When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.
(We talk about this in our safety awareness program in terms of teaching young people that if something does not "feel" right, to go around!)
7. Stay happy!
See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will come to you easily.
Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.
That's it for today! Next time we will be talking about how changing your point of reference can improve your self esteem and make any program of self improvement much easier to accomplish! (There is not easy button, but there are "easier" buttons that can help!
Until next time,
Take care and be safe!
Mr. Don
PS. Have you signed up for the FREE intro lessons yet? You know there is an easier way to accomplish your personal goals, and our intro lessons will get you started the right way to make sure you get to where YOU want to go!
Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?
When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.
Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.
Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."
On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.
They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive, it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.
Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state stay as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.
With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:
1. Hypnosis
Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth like they show in the movies. Hypnosis is a quick way to enter into a very relaxed state of mind. Perform self-hypnosis or you can check out hypnotic programs on cd or in mp3 format that can strengthen your intuition.
2. Meditation
Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.
3. Think positive!
A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.
4. Just let go.
What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.
5. Never expect.
After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" will fall in to your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.
6. Believe in your first impressions.
When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.
(We talk about this in our safety awareness program in terms of teaching young people that if something does not "feel" right, to go around!)
7. Stay happy!
See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will come to you easily.
Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.
That's it for today! Next time we will be talking about how changing your point of reference can improve your self esteem and make any program of self improvement much easier to accomplish! (There is not easy button, but there are "easier" buttons that can help!
Until next time,
Take care and be safe!
Mr. Don
PS. Have you signed up for the FREE intro lessons yet? You know there is an easier way to accomplish your personal goals, and our intro lessons will get you started the right way to make sure you get to where YOU want to go!
Monday
BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM, A STARTER GUIDE TO SELF IMPROVEMENT
Every single day there are many little things that attack our self esteem and work to undermine our programs of self improvement. So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a little stick pin doll. (Like a little voodoo doll!!)Everything and everyone else around you may become stick pins, at one point or another. These stick pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which Stick pins should you avoid?
Stick pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Stick pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement plans.
Stick pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be open to it and that no matter what we do, change will happen.
Stick pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Making mistakes is how we learn. If we did it right the very first time, we would not have a clue as what we did to make the outcome successful, so how could we do it again? Never stop learning from your experiences.
Stick pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativity's of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst bad situations.
Stick pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company you work for, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you won't have to repeat the same mistakes. Why reinvent the wheel? If we know something didn't work the first time, why do the same thing again and expect a different out come!
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you now have my permission to build your self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right weapons to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. During the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof suit of armor of ‘self change’ ideally means that the stick pins don't get to us.
A program of functional self improvement changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our mind set or way of thinking. These areas provide us with the material to put together our suit of emotional armor!
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out.
When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.
Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment.
A positive way of looking at life will help you build your self esteem, and never forget, you will be the person that your young people look to as a guide to their approach to self improvement.
Until next time,
Take care and be safe!
Mr. Don
PS. If you would like more information on how to effectively begin a program of self improvement that will exceed your success expectations sign up for the Functional Self Improvement program. This realistic program of self improvement delivers weekly lessons to your desk top that you can implement right away to achieve the results you are looking for. You will also receive weekly follow up and support that will provide you with additional tips, suggestions and resources that you can use to turbo charge your efforts to achieve maximum results.
Sign up for our FREE intro mini-ecourse in the box at the top of this page!
Imagine yourself as a little stick pin doll. (Like a little voodoo doll!!)Everything and everyone else around you may become stick pins, at one point or another. These stick pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which Stick pins should you avoid?
Stick pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Stick pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement plans.
Stick pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be open to it and that no matter what we do, change will happen.
Stick pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Making mistakes is how we learn. If we did it right the very first time, we would not have a clue as what we did to make the outcome successful, so how could we do it again? Never stop learning from your experiences.
Stick pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativity's of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst bad situations.
Stick pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company you work for, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you won't have to repeat the same mistakes. Why reinvent the wheel? If we know something didn't work the first time, why do the same thing again and expect a different out come!
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you now have my permission to build your self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right weapons to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. During the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof suit of armor of ‘self change’ ideally means that the stick pins don't get to us.
A program of functional self improvement changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our mind set or way of thinking. These areas provide us with the material to put together our suit of emotional armor!
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out.
When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.
Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment.
A positive way of looking at life will help you build your self esteem, and never forget, you will be the person that your young people look to as a guide to their approach to self improvement.
Until next time,
Take care and be safe!
Mr. Don
PS. If you would like more information on how to effectively begin a program of self improvement that will exceed your success expectations sign up for the Functional Self Improvement program. This realistic program of self improvement delivers weekly lessons to your desk top that you can implement right away to achieve the results you are looking for. You will also receive weekly follow up and support that will provide you with additional tips, suggestions and resources that you can use to turbo charge your efforts to achieve maximum results.
Sign up for our FREE intro mini-ecourse in the box at the top of this page!
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